assholes in training

gotta give a lotta credit
and hopefully not much blame
for the things a child learns
to the ones who chose his name

and the person he becomes can often easily be traced
to those folks who first stared him in his little shriveled face
i'm saying all this, sir, as a way of explaining
why i'm pretty sure your children are
assholes in training, assholes in training

i know you don't hit them, and congratulations, too
the only crime that you commit is teaching them to think like you
and here is the kicker, if i may be blunt
well you are a dick, sir, and your wife she is unkind
and it makes me sick, sir, but i'm not complaining
i'm just trying to tell you why you've got
assholes in training, assholes in training

another day, another lesson
class in session, always in session
and heaven forbid the kid forgets
he's the teacher's pet, the teacher's pet
and must be grateful for
this hateful education he's obtaining
he's an asshole in training

this is how to treat a stranger
this is how to treat a friend
here's what to expect of ladies
here's what to expect of men
this is how the game begins and
this is how the story ends
this is how the world works

before you try to hang me from the highest rope around
i should probably tell you now that there's still hope to be found
cuz your kids they could drop out before it's too late
and try to find some other teachers who teach love instead of hate
and if they were gone, the only ones left remaining here
would seem to be the trainers of the assholes in training
the assholes in training